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Tonight on the Doug Noll Show I interview Paula Langguth Ryan, principal mediator at Compassionate Mediators, LLC, with offices in Annapolis, Boulder and Cocoa Beach. A large part of her practice is devoted to consumer debt negotiation and credit restoration services. In addition, she specializes in helping families and mediators resolve the financial aspects of elder and estate mediations, such as inheritance disputes and mismanagement of estate funds. She also provides mediation services for closely-held corporations, spiritual organizations and their boards of directors. She is the creator of Transformative Spiritual Mediation Training and the author of the forthcoming Ryan’s Rules of Order: A Clear and Compassionate Process for Minimizing Conflict and Keeping Any Meeting on Track.

Paula is the lead chair of ACR’s Spirituality Section, a member of ACR’s Elder Decision-Making and Conflict Resolution Section and a synergizer for Colorado’s Conflict Resolution Month. Working with The Village Gathering, she participates in sustainable restorative justice mediation efforts in Kenya. Paula served as Executive Editor of financial publications at Phillips Publishing, Inc. (now InvestorPlace) and is the author of two books: Bounce Back From Bankruptcy and Giving Thanks: The Art of Tithing. She is dedicated to helping people worldwide feel financially confident and secure.

 We will be talking about her restorative justice work in Kenya.

 The lines are open for your questions and comments at 888-327-0061, or Internationally, 01 858-623-0126.

The Doug Noll Radio Show

Thursday 7pm 888-327-0061

http://Bit.ly/8Sf4m

Segment 1: The Village Gathering

Our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show is Paula Langguth Ryan, principal mediator at Compassionate Mediators, LLC, and a member of ACR’s Elder Decision-Making and Conflict Resolution Section. We will discuss her work with The Village Gathering, which focuses on sustainable restorative justice mediation in Kenya. Paula’s latest book (among many) is the forthcoming Ryan’s Rules of Order: A Clear and Compassionate Process for Minimizing Conflict and Keeping Any Meeting on Track. Her website is www.paulalangguthryan.com.

Segment 2: One Tribe

As a middle child growing up, Paula felt an innate connection to peacemaking. Her professional peacekeeping work in Kenya begin right after the Kenyan election crisis in 2008. Paula was asked to go to Kenya to lead a pastoral conference for a week, but found that her work would not resonate unless the prevalent inter-tribal conflict was first addressed. At that point she knew nothing about restorative justice, but with help from other mediators, as well as a former warrior (now a self-taught peacemaker) named Lantano, the tribes literally ended up “breaking bread” together. Lantano reiterated a new message: we are ONE tribe. We’re Kenyans.

Paula’s 2^nd trip was in 2010 for two weeks. Again she met with members of a small tribe (1 of 13 tribes) about inter-tribal conflict. She watched Lantano, who had no formal training as a mediator or peacemaker, go to speak with the mothers of the fighting warriors as well as the elders of the tribes and successfully bring the members of the tribes together for a communal meal.

Segment 3: A Reconciliation Meal

Lantano, the young warrior turned peacemaker, organized a reconciliation communal meal. The meat was braided, and there is a tradition in Kenya that says if you have shared a piece of meat together you can no longer be enemies. At this communal meal the tribal warriors cut meat for each other and fed one another. Every warrior bit from a single piece of meat.

Segment 4: The Kenya Solution

Paula believes the solutions for Kenya’s problems have to come from Kenya. The Kenyan people know what the underlying fears are and how to address them. They want to solve their own problems. There is a deep authenticity when one has truly experienced war, and this authenticity stems credibility within the tribes. Professional mediators can provide support, coaching, training, and funds, but fundamentally they can’t be the peacemakers in Kenya. Only the Kenyans can.

To listen to the full interview:

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San Francisco, Ca (PRWEB) June 25, 2012

Douglas Noll, professional mediator, peacemaker, and author of the award winning book Elusive Peace analyses diplomatic talks in international conflicts and grades them for skill and strategy. Most recently the third round of nuclear talks between Iran and the P5+1 group (US, Russia, China, Britain, France and Germany) highlights Noll’s analytic process for defining effective skills necessary to bring conflicted groups together in consensus. “Unfortunately, again, these talks exemplify a major flaw in diplomatic negotiations. Iranians are focused on being heard and want respect, reciprocity, and a discussion about their rights and sovereignty. The P5+1 group are concerned about technical details—highlighting a major disconnect in listening and understanding—the cornerstone to bringing two sides together,” Noll points out.

Douglas Noll’s book Elusive Peace: How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts (Prometheus, 2011) details the skills needed for effective negotiation strategies from psychological, neuropsychological, biological and dogmatic perspectives. “Our US ambassador, in this case Ambassador Wendy R. Sherman holds an impressive resume, is very talented and accomplished, and is the third ranking person in the Department of State but holds no training or experience in sophisticated modern negotiation, mediation, or communication processes,” Noll points out.

As a professional mediator, award winning author and peacemaker, Noll analyzes major areas of conflict as a teaching tool to inform politicians, voters, citizens and diplomats with the goal of improving international relationships and avoid the kind of frustrations that can lead to pre-emptive strikes and escalating conflict.

Douglas Noll is the winner of the International Peace and Justice Book Award for Elusive Peace: How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts (http://www.amazon.com/Elusive-Peace-Diplomatic-Strategies-Conflicts/dp/1616144173/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339101596&sr=1-1). Doug is the 2012 winner of the CLAY award for co-founding the pro bono project Prison of Peace. Doug is a keynote speaker and sought after leader in the field of international, domestic and business conflicts. Doug is a sought after interview guest on TV and radio, and a keynote speaker and workshop presenter. Doug is a full time peacemaker and mediator, specializing in difficult, complex, and intractable conflicts, an adjunct professor of law and has a Master’s Degree in Peacemaking and Conflict Studies. Mr. Noll is AV-rated and was a business and commercial trial lawyer for 22 years before turning to peacemaking. Doug is a founding board member of Mediators Beyond Borders, and the 2012 President of the California Dispute Resolution Council.

Noll is a Fellow of the International Academy of Mediators, a Distinguished Fellow of the American College of Civil Trial Mediators, a Diplomat of the California and National Academy of Distinguished Neutrals, a core faculty member of the American Institute of Mediation, and on the American Arbitration Association panel of mediators and arbitrators. Mr. Noll was one of the first U.S. mediators certified under the international mediator standards established by the International Mediation Institute. Doug is the author of Elusive Peace: How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts (Prometheus, 2011), the winner of the international peace and justice book award. Doug Noll is a core faculty member of the American Institute of Mediation, a preeminent mediation Training Institute founded by Lee Jay Berman. http://americaninstituteofmediation.com

Segment 1: Secrets of the Peacemaking Parent

Lorraine Esposito, our guest on this edition of The Doug Noll Show, is no stranger to peacemaking. She is a life and fitness coach and the nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime. Lorraine has been featured in broadcast, radio, print, and online media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences. Her website is www.peacemakerparent.com.

Lorraine’s personal journey as a peacemaking parent began at home with her young sons, then 6 and 8. In the process of exploring how to achieve a peaceful home, she discovered a method that instilled responsibility and accountability within her children and fostered peacemaking organically. She had tried different methods, including various books and counseling programs, but nothing worked for their family. The feeling of power, control and responsibility was lacking.

Lorraine says the secret to a peaceful home is belief and trust. Belief that the inner voice you have as a parent is actually truth. Trust in your children and that they are all that they need to be. When we are able to believe, trust and let go, our kids begin to show their greatness and choose wisely.

Segment 2: The Need for Perfection

Parents’ self-esteem is too often wrapped around their own children. The need for perfection is layered on top of peer pressure and the hype about getting a good education and being successful, etc. The smallest mistake triggers fear in parents, overwhelms them, and blocks good judgment. The first step to overcoming these issues is for the parent to look at their own environment and at themselves as individuals. Then the parent can observe what’s happening (without judgment or criticism) and see what’s working and not working. The underlying issues become apparent when we detach ourselves and observe with non-reactivity and non-judgment.

Segment 3: The Sacred Space

Lorraine started with a morning peacemaking program in her own home. She held a meeting with her children and empowered them to make decisions. The meeting was a safe, sacred space. When they all agreed on the rules they moved forward, but if they didn’t agree they stayed put until they did. As a family they established 7 things to do in the morning. The boys monitored themselves with parameters and framework and became confident all on their own without mom’s nagging. The consequences to not getting tasks done were natural. They took personal responsibility and dealt with the consequences.

*Sacred space with equality

*Consensus decision making

*Building in accountability

*Natural consequences

Segment 4: Personal Responsibility and Ownership

Lorraine finds when parents try her peacemaking approach that decisions that seemed difficult become easier to make. They are able to let go of things that aren’t serving them. Parents become happier, there’s not as much fighting, there’s more acceptance and forgiveness. Additionally, taking personal responsibility and ownership can help kids with scholastic achievement by fostering personal motivation. Good leaders can’t command or control anybody; good leaders inspire people, which leads to self-motivation.

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Tonight on the Doug Noll show I will interview Life and fitness coach and nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime,  Lorraine Esposito has been featured in broadcast, radio, print, and online media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences.  Lorraine is also a coach training instructor and mentor coach for, CoachVille, the world’s largest coach training organization.  Lorraine lives in New York with her husband and two teenage sons. 

We will be talking about raising kids as peacemakers. Seems particularly apropos in light of that school bus incident in NY where kids bullied a bus driver.

The lines are open for your questions and comments at 888-327-0061, or Internationally, 01 858-623-0126.

The Doug Noll Radio Show

Thursday 7pm 888-327-0061

http://Bit.ly/8Sf4m