Bernie Mayer - Author of the Conflict Paradox: Seven Dilemmas at the Core of Disputes

Segment 1 Bernie Mayer

On this edition of the Doug Noll Show, we have with us Bernie Mayer.
Bernie Mayer is a Professor of Dispute Resolution, The Werner Institute, Creighton University, is a leader in the field of conflict resolution. Bernie has worked in child welfare, mental health, substance abuse treatment, and psychotherapy. As a founding partner of CDR Associates, Bernie has provided conflict intervention for families, communities, universities, corporations, and governmental agencies throughout North America and internationally for over 35 years. Bernie’s latest book, The Conflict Paradox, Seven Dilemmas at the Core of Disputes, is just out (January, 2015). Earlier books include: The Dynamics of Conflict, Beyond Neutrality, and Staying With Conflict.

Bernie's was a child of the 60's. His journey began when he became very active in the role of mental health and in child welfare. He was very active in the civil rights movement, the anti-war movement He was in the student movement and was involved in the waiver movements in his early life and in most of those roles he found he was dealing with conflict all of the time and often with people who did not handle conflict well and sometimes to be frank, he was not the best at handling conflict.

Segment 2 Paradox: Competition and Cooperation

Competition and cooperation. In the west, it seems like we value competition more than cooperation and collaboration. Doug and Bernie discuss what this is all about.

Also discussed in this segment is the paradox between optimism verses realism. Bernie discusses this with the Doug and how he applied it and understood it on a personal front and how you cannot have one without the other.
The last paradox of this segment is about avoidance and engagement. Very interesting paradox and conversation.

Segment 3 Paradoxes Continued

Doug and Bernie discuss emotions and logic. You cannot solve an emotional problem with logic alone and vice versa. There is research proving you cannot have one without the other. As mediators, you have to listen to if the problem is logical or emotional so you can help them integrate the two.
Neutrality and Advocacy is the next paradox discussed that is more practitioner focused. Clients don't want his. They want to be deemed as being fair and the the mediator is working with them. This means caring and advocating for them to listen to each other.

Segment 4 Final Paradox
Doug and Bernie further discuss the last paradox discussed in Segment 3, community and anonymity.